Evil Terrorists Kidnap Ronald McDonald!!

The Low Density Lifestyle book is now out! You can check out an excerpt from the book, and buy it, at the Low Density Lifestyle bookstore.

In an act of cowardice that only evil terrorists are capable of doing, an American icon, Ronald McDonald, was recently kidnapped and is being threatened with execution by Feb. 11, 2011, unless the demands of the terrorists are met.

What is wrong with these people? Don’t they understand that Ronald McDonald represents the pinnacle of American living? You can’t get much more Americana than Ronald.

I mean, if we allow this dastardly act to succeed, then we are all doomed – because then nothing will be sacred.

Who are these cowards who have committed this heinous act? Not much is fully known about them, except that they go by the name of the “Food Liberation Army.”

We do know the details of the crime. The perpetrators marched into a restaurant in Helsinki, Finland on Jan. 31 posing as maintenance personnel, and then kidnapped the statue of Ronald McDonald.

Since committing this reprehensible act, the group has posted a video on YouTube where, wearing hoods over their heads and holding the statue with a bag over its head, they demand that the world’s largest food chain answer questions about its corporate responsibility and food production. You can watch the video above.


“We love burgers, fries and McDonald’s, but we can no longer watch in silence as the food we love is being destroyed and brought to shame because of greed and indifference,” one of the terrorists said, speaking in Finnish.

And that’s the thing about terrorists. They can make themselves sound like they have a reasonable case, but we all know they are madmen bent on destruction.

For what are we without McDonalds? What would happen to our way of life?

I ask all of you, pray that Ronald McDonald is saved before the execution date of Feb. 11. But yet, we can never cave into the demands of terrorists.

For if they get their way, next they’ll be making demands that we have to eat things like brown rice and organic vegetables and locally produced foods.

And if that were to happen, it would be devastating to all the businesses that make mega-gobs of profits off the unhealthy living habits of people.

Speak Your Mind

Tell us what you're thinking...
and oh, if you want a pic to show with your comment, go get a gravatar!